Today I got into an argument with my Aunt because she was upset that her daughter was dating a girl so I said
"Do you really think you should fall in love with someone’s genitals over their soul? Because that’s shallow and sad"
And my 75 year old grandmother who was sitting in her rocking chair, and who hasn’t said a word for the past hour screamed “OH BURN” and hit my aunt with a fly swatterMy gramma is a special lady okay.
A five year old at the gas station said he liked my “bat woman” tattoo excitedly. His father condescendingly asked how many I had. I told him I had 11. He scoffed and asked how waiting tables all my life sounded and I said, “it’s alright on the weekends, but throughout the week I’m your son’s teacher.” He walked out without another word.
the eleventh tribute • [1/3] speeches.Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica takes the Universe! But, bad news everyone, ‘cause guess who! Ha! Except, you lot, you’re all whizzing about, it’s really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING! Now, the question for the hour is, “Who’s got the Pandorica?” Answer: I do. Next question: “Who’s coming to take it from me?” Come on, look at me! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn, oh, and something else I don’t have anything to lose! So, if you’re sitting up there in your silly little space ships with all your silly little guns, and you’ve got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who’s standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, and then!, do the smart thing… Let somebody else try first.